


A Chance

by cazmalfoy



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: Daddy Issues, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-06-04 00:28:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6633358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cazmalfoy/pseuds/cazmalfoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So many years have gone by, always strong tried not to cry. Never felt like I needed any man to comfort me in life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Chance

When Sara Sidle’s father had been murdered by her mother whilst Sara had been in the next room, her world had fallen apart.

Her mother had been taken away and Sara herself was placed into foster care. For years she was bounced from home after home, sometimes after spending no more than a month with any one family.

Sara had always liked to understand all the facts and figures in her head before taking action, but her mother’s display of aggression she just couldn’t figure out. Sara sent every waking moment replaying the life of her father in an attempt to figure out if he had done something to warrant such bloodshed and anger from her mother. Her nightmares were plagued with images of two dark figures both covered from head to toe in blood and they were coming after her.

Sara could not find one single flaw with her father. He had been loving, gentle and kind. He worked away three days a month in various cities across the country and upon his return it was guaranteed that Sara would receive a new present, usually a book as Sara wasn’t one that liked to play with dolls.

The only conclusion that Sara could come up with was that her father had been too kind to his only daughter and her mother’s sick mind had believed that her husband preferred their daughter to his wife.

When Sara was just about to start high school she moved to a different house yet again. As a girl on the brink of womanhood, Sara was more than ready to spend her time with this family and then move on. Treating each move like some kind of community service, something you didn’t want to do but you didn’t have a choice, had made it easier for her not to get attached to anyone.

But when she moved in with the Anderson’s everything she had been able to work out about the system up to that point had been turned on its head. Lily and Jordan Anderson had been in their late forties when Sara was brought into their house. They already had two children of their own who were a little older than Sara was; Jordan Junior had been in college and Alison was already in High School.

The Anderson’s lived in a large house, with five bedrooms that were bigger than any Sara had ever seen. Two other foster children lived in the house with Sara and that knowledge made her believe that no one would pay any attention to her, just as it had been in every other house she had stayed in.

After a week Sara realized that her ideas about what it would be like in the Anderson household were completely wrong. Lily made sure that each of the children came home in time to eat lunch at the table with the whole family. They had to do their homework at the dining room table where there were no distractions and they could help each other with any problems.

When Sara had started her period she had been so embarrassed to tell anyone and ask for help choosing the right products. Lily had been visiting her sister a few cities over when it happened and Sara had no idea what she was supposed to do. Jordan had been doing the laundry when he noticed the blood. He hadn’t told Sara that he knew what the blood was from, not that he had even seen it. Instead he had taken her to the supermarket under the pretence that they needed some groceries. 

Sara had been mortified when Jordan had stopped the half-empty shopping cart in front of the sanitary products and asked Sara if she knew which ones she needed.

Jordan had chuckled to himself and reached up to grab a junior packet, telling her that he had a wife, a daughter and three sisters of his own. He knew what a young girl needed during her period.

In that instant Sara knew that Jordan was not like every other man she had ever known. Her previous foster parents had been too absorbed in their own petty little lives to pay her any attention. But with Lily and Jordan everything was different. It was obvious to Sara that their lives revolved around their children and the children they took into their care.

Sara had been fifteen when she had her first boyfriend. Paul had been the captain of the football team and had been Sara’s crush for over a year. When Paul had approached Sara and asked her if she wanted to go to the movies, she had been so excited. She had run straight home after school and in a rush of breath told Lily and Alison all about Paul.

Alison had spent all weekend helping Sara choose just the right outfit to wear for her first date. They had eventually decided on a pair of jeans and a top Sara had borrowed off of Alison. The movie had been horrible, not something Sara would have voluntarily watched but she didn’t mind sitting through it because she was next to Paul and that was the only thought that ran through her mind.

In the car afterwards, Paul had leant across and kissed Sara softly. It hadn’t been long before Paul’s hand, which was on her waist, began to wander. Sara had ended the kiss and asked Paul to stop. He had asked her why she thought he had invited her along in the first place if they weren’t going to do anything. Sara had climbed out of the car at that moment and walked the rest of the way home in tears.

The next day at school, every member of the student body knew that Sara had been on a date with Paul and that she hadn’t been willing to put out for the most popular guy everyone knew.

From then on Sara became determined not to let any man get to her. She wouldn’t let anyone get close to her. She knew that the only men she could confide in were Jordan and Junior, who now worked as a car mechanic in the local garage.

Sara had gone off to college, determined that she would get a degree and then a fantastic successful job to prove to herself that she would not turn out like her mother who had been unemployed ninety percent of Sara’s time with her.

Junior got her a job in the garage during the summers, organizing and correcting the mess that Joe – the owner – kept the books in. A young driver had brought his car in one day when Sara had been out front doing inventory. Sara hadn’t noticed him and bent over to pick something up when the driver grabbed her ass. Junior had come of the backroom at that instant and punched the driver, telling him to get his car and leave before he called the cops. Sara had been grateful to Junior for helping her. She ignored his questions and locked herself in the office where she finally let the tears fall.

Sara’s life from College to the present was a bumbling mass of memories, skipping from the past to the future and then back to the past. Every relationship she had ever been in she had managed to destroy the guys trust in her or alienate him in some way or another.

When she met Hank she thought that maybe everything would turn out differently. Hank had been charming, good looking and a fun person to be with. It wasn’t often that Sara found a man she that she could be herself around and it hadn’t taken long before she let Hank into her heart and life. Only to have her heart broken when she found out that he had been treating her as though she were a piece of meat and she was nothing more than someone to make up for what he wasn’t getting from his girlfriend.

The world only saw Sara as someone who was headstrong and a little bit of a bitch, but after what Hank did to her she had taken some time off and driven back up to San Francisco. Jordan had died of a heart attack three years before and Lily hadn’t remarried, telling Sara that her heart belonged with Jordan.

Lily had been ecstatic to see Sara, whom she didn’t think of as just a foster daughter. Sara was family in every way but blood. For the first time in her life Sara had broken down and confided in Lily about her fears. Deep down inside her she was terrified that if she got too close to a man she would turn into her mother, whom was still in hospital. She couldn’t help but feel that she subconsciously chose people who were nothing like her father because she knew there was no way she could get close to them. She believed that deep inside her she had known that Hank would turn out to be just like everyone else and she had been drawn to him because she would have had an excuse if things hadn’t turned out right.

Lily had listened and comforted her, telling her that one day she would find the right person and that because of everything she’d been through in the past when she did find the right man it would make everything that much more special.

Sara hadn’t really believed what Lily was saying, thinking that there was no way she would allow herself to be tied down to someone. But three years after Hank, Michael came into her life.

He was six-foot-two inch, with dark brown hair and eyes an even darker shade of brown. He was a pit boss at the Tangiers casino and they met while Sara had been working a case in the building.

Michael had sent some roses to the lab addressed to Sara. Nick and Warrick had taken it upon themselves to tease her mercilessly about having a secret admirer. The roses had been delivered with card that requested Sara join him for lunch at the Tangiers restaurant.

Sara had been very hesitant about accepting his invitation, not wanting to put herself in a position that would make her vulnerable yet again. But Lily words echoed inside her head, reminding her that she would never find the right man if she was unwilling to look.

Now, a year later as Sara straightened the white material that hung in front of her face, she was glad that she had listened to Lily.

 _Thoughts racing fast through my mind_  
 _As I’m gazing down the aisle_  
 _That my future will mend the memories_  
 _Torn between father and child_  
 _My emotions over load_  
 _’Cause there is no hand to hold_  
 _There’s no shoulder here to lean on_  
 _I’m walking all on my own  
 - _The Right Man, Christina Aguilera

 


End file.
